Need a dog? Cat? Lizard? Snake? You’ve come to the right place my friend!

Posted on April 10, 2012


I am what you would call an almost crazy cat lady. Working in animal hospitals with a big ol’ heart made me open to bringing home all sorts of creatures. All of my current “kids” are rescue pets from one source or another and they all love me in very different ways. This is the obligatory pet post that has been waiting in the shadows for the perfect moment to rear its fuzzy head and entertain you.

Pie-bot in all his glory

Oh yeah – Strap in folks – I promise it will be fun =)

Pollux Pie is a rescue cat – born of a kitty that my sister adopted back in the day who ended up being prego. I don’t know if it is his bastard status or if he has the soul of a swashbuckler but Pollux is evil. He hates pretty much anyone save for his ” family” which now consists of the Grand Chu, myself. His hatred shows through his bitey-clawiness anytime he feels somewhat threatened…which is a lot. Do not trust this photo of him looking all sweet…it’s a ruse.

Pie got his nick name because his screams. A lot. Being the loving mother that I am, I tell him to ” shut his damn pie hole” on a bi-weekly basis. It doesn’t work but it makes me feel like I have given him some sort of structure in his kitty life. Pie-bot is fat. He is fat because I feed him a lot and I feed him a lot because it, along with rolling in the dirt makes him happy and because I live vicariously through my pets. So shoot me.

Sadly, Pie-bot is not as fat as Alex T. Great my other kitty. I say sadly because Pietard is like 20 lbs – Alex is pushing 23 and I worry about him getting the diabetes. Alex-bot is the sweetest snuggliest lovingist soul I have ever met in cat form. A fireman found him in a field all ratty with big ol green eyes when he was 4 weeks old or so. I fell in love and brought him home and fed him and kept feeding him and now he is the size of a house boat. Seriously. A house that floats on the water that one lives in. This is Mr. Great.

Alex the great – He asked me to use a flattering photo of him.

I named him Alex T. Great because he was a shy kitty when he first came to me I wanted to boost his confidence. I thought naming him after an ancient conqueror would help. … … Now he is crazy outgoing, loves anyone that comes over and does what we call the seal cat where he rolls on his back and looks up with these huge eyes … like a baby seal about to be bludgeoned. I love Alex in all of his fat glory because he is my constant companion. The other pets get anxious when I cry . Mr. Great hefts all billion pounds of himself onto my lap and begins to ” purr correct” the situation. It goes something like this: Purr. Rub head on hand until he decides things have been rectified. Purr some more. Go and eats because making miss lady feel better is a strenuous activity. Eating is his favorite pastime, though he also loves to roll in the grass and sleep.

Sigmund Freud is my bearded dragon. Someone walked up to me in a store and had him in a brown paper bag and asked me if I wanted him. I asked his name, she told me it was Sigmund Freud and given that I was in a Master’s program for Psychology at the time – I thought it was kismet and decided take him home with me. True story. Sigus likes to eat worms, chill in my leg warmers or on my head and essentially do lizard stuff. Sometimes he skitters around, sometimes he gets mad at the universe and his beard turns black, sometimes he sheds, most of the time he just kind of sits and stares out the window. He is a lizard after all – his need for constant entertainment or philosophical discussions are few and far between. He does allow me awesome photo ops…like putting him in a pot with veggies and looking super cool like.

Sterling Mallory Archer aka Archie-Bo aka Menkins Butter-pants is a rescue pup from an Indian reservation . He was on day 30 of 30 at my local shelter when I saw him all head and stubby tail and wiggly body and I took him home immediately. I couldn’t bear the thought of such a cute, sweet dog being put down. Turns out, he is my soul dog. I love him more than yoga and running and bacon combined. He is naturally sweet and loving and kind. He is a bit retarded looking with a big head and a slim body ( we call it resident evil body) but he has this cool coat of caramel and dark brown mixed together and it makes up for the weird head body combination.

He would never hurt another soul unless he felt like something dire was going to happen to myself or his family. He runs like a champ with me, listens well to sweet words and cowers at a loud voice; he knows how to comfort in a licky ear bitey sort of way or sometimes in a , “sleep at the foot of the bed pressed in close to my human” sort of way. He knows how to turbo beg and sit and shake and spin. We are teaching him how to howl but are failing at it and when he barks…well he sounds kind of like a lady dog or a dying pig.

I have the ” just in case” credit card for Mr. Archer that has a $15,000 limit and a low APR – you know – just in case he’s ever in the hospital and needs lots of care I will be able to pay for it. Seriously. He deserves to have the dog emergency card. Archie-bo got me through a summer of deep depression, a crappy divorce and helped usher me into a new phase of growth with his gazelle legs pumping and his tongue lolling out of his head. Sometimes he goes full retard, especially when he tries to scratch his ears and misses but most of the time I think he looks wise, like he’s considering how the universe was made. Archer is totally my soul dog and I would wager that he is also the grand Chu’s soul dog…and my tortilla man’s good friend as well.

I also have a snake but she bit me the other day while feeding and as punishment she doesn’t get mention in my blog post 😉 Save for telling you that she is 19 years old and awesome in a chthonic, slithery sort of way and we have snake snuggle parties every once in a while where she wraps around my neck and tucks her head in my shirt and undultes. I think she may be thinking about how to kill me but…haven’t quite decided.

Ok – enough pet vomit -though I could say that this is the bhakti yoga – the yoga of love!

Time to prepare to teach my cancer class and then relaaax.

Love and light!


Posted in: Life, pets, Yoga